Becoming The Busy Brain
My career has followed my two great loves: creativity and learning…
I started out working in local theatres. I did pretty much every role in my time there - box office, duty manager, backstage, office. I was always wanting to try something different and to be involved in everything! Looking back, I guess that was part of my ADHD, although it wasn’t something I was aware of at the time.
When I turned 21, I was offered a role as Personal Assistant to the Directors at Soho Theatre. It was my first time commuting into London for a job. I got to work with and meet so many talented people and the social life was amazing! But I felt like I had to work really hard because being organised enough to organise other people wasn’t one of my strengths.
When I moved to a Human Resources role at The Arts Council, I discovered Learning & Development and my career started to move along a different path.
I worked with some wonderful teams in the following few years, gaining experience in learning design, facilitation, leadership development, e-learning development and coaching. I loved helping others to find the answers within themselves and thrive within the business - there’s honestly nothing better than watching others grow!
My priorities started to change after the birth of my daughter…
Suddenly the idea of full time office working with a long commute didn’t seem quite so appealing. I was leaving the house just after 6am each day and still ran the risk of being late back for bedtime, with the unreliable trains. The company I was with at the time weren’t able to give me the flexibility I needed, so I found a local job (that amazingly came with a higher salary for much lower stress!)
Then Covid hit and the office world moved to working from home. It was difficult during lockdown as my husband and I juggled full time work from home while caring for an 18 month old. But once we found our groove, neither of us wanted to go back to the office again! I learnt that I could get so much more done at home, as I found it far less distracting than being surrounded by office conversations. Plus we were getting so much more time together as a family and becoming such a tight-knit unit. This started to feel like my ideal.
When the world started to open up again and UK life got back to “normal”, my family life did not…
In early 2021, my mum got lost driving a familiar route less than five minutes from home. We were concerned, but eager to find excuses for it. When I spoke with her she had her own excuses for what had happened, so we decided to let it go as a one-off. But then we started noticing other little changes. It took us months to accept what was going on and then even longer to convince her to see a doctor. In 2022 she was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s Dementia.
Earlier that year, my dad found out his cancer had returned and that this time it was incurable. His mobility had also started to become a problem and now he was having to come to terms with slowly losing the woman he’d loved for more than 40 years!
My parents retired in February 2020, with a heap of plans to do all the things they’d put off during their working years. Their reward? A global pandemic followed by ill health that changed their lives immeasurably. How is that fair?
What I took from this was that nothing is guaranteed in life…
If I didn’t do the things on my wish list now, I might never get to do them! So, I started making plans.
I compressed my full time hours into four days, so that I’d have a day in the week to do things for myself.
I spoke to my husband about him leaving his day job so he could pursue music full time like he’d always wanted. I figured out we could just about make it work with my current salary.
We looked more seriously at home educating our daughter, so that we could give her a more personalised learning experience, with more opportunities to see the world and more time to be with family and friends.
In early 2023 I found out my job was at risk of redundancy…
Initially, I panicked and started applying to other roles without giving too much thought to how they’d fit in with our plans. But then it started to sink in.
What if my new manager was reluctant to give me the flexibility I needed to help my parents?
What if I had to go back to the London commute to maintain my salary?
What if I couldn’t find a remote/hybrid role that worked for my family?
It felt like my best option would be to apply for one of the new internal roles, even though I really couldn’t picture myself enjoying any of them for long. Then someone suggested I look into freelancing and starting my own business. I initially balked at the idea as it felt so irresponsible (I had bills to pay and a family to look after, I needed something more stable that that!)
But it started to work its way through my brain and I couldn’t shake it. My husband says that when I started talking to him about it and how I it might work, he could see a change in me and felt my passion so strongly that it was a no-brainer for him to stay in his day job and tell me to “go for it!”.
So I opted for the voluntary redundancy with the hope that my payout would cover us long enough for the business to start making money. It was a slow start as I was listening to people who told me I should at least get a part-time or contract job to pay the bills alongside it. So, I kept applying and updating my portfolio and interviewing for roles that I really had no interest in. All the while neglecting what I really wanted to be doing.
It was only when I discovered ADHD coaching that I really started to believe in what I was capable of and the capacity I had to make a difference for others…
I took a course to understand how ADHD coaching differs from the standard coaching I’d trained in and been practising up to that point. It was like a revelation. Coaching with an ADHD lens was so different. It felt so much more intuitive to my busy brain.
It became much easier to remain in the moment when working with someone and I left every session feeling energised. I knew, with a certainty I hadn’t felt previously, that this was where I was meant to be. This was the direction I wanted to take my business. It was like everything suddenly shifted into a higher gear and I was finally on the right path!
Now I get to work on my own terms, while doing something I love and helping people achieve their dreams. Yes, it’s hard work (and I’m not a natural at selling myself - it makes me cringe!) but I’m honestly the happiest I’ve been in my working life
If you’ve read this far, firstly, well done - I know I tend to go on a bit - and secondly, thank you! I hope you find something on these pages that means something to you. And please do share this with anyone who you think might need a little extra support.
Nicola x